The Sequel that Never Was
by Push Me
Summary: Sequel. My opinion on the Ending of KH 2. Enjoy. By the way... it never happened. Gettit?Haha...No....


**The Sequel that never will be to the fanfic that never was**

**_Well, here it... well, isnt actually. It doesn't exist, just like number one didn't! Geddit? I kill myself._**

**_Taken straight from the World That Never Was, more adventures from our favourite orgy! _**

**_Read the Fanfic that never was first. Not for story. For OMG WTF is this? value_**

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_"Zola!" Captain Jack cried, "Get up here and help me!"_

_The teen bristled, tightening the keyblade in his grip, before knocking an undead pirate into the moonlight where it bounced off a wall and zoomed back into the shadow, once again becoming invincible._

_"Graaaaa! I HATE THESE THINGS! AND MY NAME IS SORA!!!"_

_"What?" Jack said, noticing the boy for the first time. "No, not you! Gianfranco! Here! Now!"_

_And with that he signalled with a wave of his ringed hand and the football (Soccer) star of ages long past appeared and with a swift bicycle kick to a cannonball dispatched all the pirates within range._

_"Good boy, Zola!" Jack cried, before proceeding to grab Push Me and suggest they go somewhere more private. (Yes, I'm a guy. Not gay. Guy. Johnny Depp is an exception to the rule of being straight.)_

_Push Me woke suddenly._

_"Dammit..."_

_Such a nice dream._

_He checked his watch groggily, before realising it was, in fact, time for more Kingdom Hearts with POTC 3 on the Laptop._

_Back to the fic._

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"Wherever one of us goes, the other goes too from now on, right?" Kairi whispered, resting her hand on Sora's.

"Awesome!" the boy cried. "So what, you're like, in my party now? What do you do? Do I get a reaction command to Tap That when I walk near you? Will you help me fight Sephiroth?"

He looked at her eagerly, flashing her a grin and a suggestive nudge.

"Ummmm..." the girl faltered, "Well, actually, I don't move from this altar, and sit here waiting for you to fight Xenmas (FYI anagram of mansex) And then welcome you..."

A scandalised gasp erupted around her, and the party fell on the floor crying loudly in unison:

"SPOILERS!!! NOOOO! TEH SPOILERS!!!"

Sora clapped a hand over her mouth, the keyblade glistening close to her neck dangerously.

"Never. EVER. Reveal an ending of a Square game. EVER. K?...When do you reveal it?"

"Never!" Kairi mumbled through his hand.

"WRONG!" Sora cried, knocking her to the floor. "WHEN?!?!?"

"When what?!?!?!"

"Good..."

The party began nodding sagely, getting to their feet.

"Now," Sora continued, "Donald, Goofy, lets go into that door where we can end this game, get our score and post the ending on a virus and send it to everyone on myspace. Even those who havent finished! MOOHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA!!!"

Riku stepped forward.

"I'll come t..." he began, but was immediately swept away by a tide of fangirls bent on his pairing with some poor guy in javascript.

Sora sighed. "I'm sorry uoi guys had to see that. Now lets go..."

And they stepped through the door. (After saying YES I WANT TO GO IN YOU FUCKING MORON!!! to the game about 8 times)

(45 minutes of the X button later)

"NOTHING IS ETERNAAAAAAAAL!"

And with this pointlessly repeated cry, Xenmas trapped Sora in some random energy shield. Why he didn't start with this move, nobody knows. It shall forever remain a mystery.

All hope seemed lost, when over the hill of nothing, Riku appeared.

His progress was slowed by the girls hanging to his muscled arms, but he managed to make an ass of himself trying to jump walls before rescuing Sora.

They were suddenly surrounded by a fuck-load of lasers.

After much pressing triangle and X, Xenmas was defeated and the day was saved. A ROFLcopter is seen laughing whilst flying in the background.

"We appear to be in some sort of nothing land." Sora observed, walking towards the shore where the moon hung, cradling Riku over one shoulder.

"Let me go," Riku muttered, " I can walk."

Sora did, and he promptly died.

"Oh well. Guess it's an eternity alone."

At that moment, Steve Enix arrived, and delivered a half assed ending which brought Sora back to his friends. Yaaaaaaaaay!

The End

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Yh, just my opinion on the half assed ending of KH 2. Enjoy. Review. Flame. Cry. Dont care.


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